SOLBORN, CHAPTER XI

CONFESSION

I’m starting to get used to going from one small room to the next. This one’s a bit wider than the ship’s, at least. I even have a small, creaky window that reminds me of the crushing depth of the ocean surrounding me. This underwater haven is not trying to hide the fact that it’s not of recent construction—this structure was here long before I ever stepped foot in it. Selene must’ve had it built long ago in case she ever needed a safe place to hide. She’s infallible. I admire that about her, always being one step ahead. I wonder how she could’ve possibly gotten caught in the first place. I wonder what Aurora would say of a place like this. She always said she feared the open seas, but I never got to actually see her sail. I imagine she wouldn’t enjoy being more than thirty kilometers deep in an alien ocean.

“Knock, knock,” Selene’s voice says without actually knocking. “Is the pressure getting to you?”

“Your peculiar-shaped base seems to be protecting me well enough for now,” I reply. “How long has it been here?”

“It’s been a couple years already, I think. Why, surprised?”

“I would’ve been, if I hadn’t already seen everything that came before this. I’m beginning to expect these kinds of things from you now.”

“Well, your timing isn’t the best. This is it. No more safety net to fall back on now.”

“I see. Then we must be precise in our actions.”

“Indeed. Being deliberate is my specialty.” She smiles.

“I know. Care to tell me why you came to talk to me now, then?”

“It is hard to get anything past you, Alexander. How about a little more trust?”

“I do trust you, Selene. One thing does not take away from the other.”

“True. We are going to meet everyone today. We will discuss strategy, yes, but we will also get to know each other better. I came to ask you to be honest about your past.”

I shudder. “No one needs to know.”

“I disagree. In fact, it is imperative that they all hear it. No one wants to follow a perfect man. It makes them feel pitiful about their own existence. Weaknesses make us more human, easier to follow. Easier to support. Easier to die for, even. You must show them you’re worth dying for.”

“By telling them I’m a monster?”

“By telling them the truth.”

She leaves before I can say any more. Blood boiling, I breathe in and out multiple times before heading out. Her words drumming inside my head as I am unable to shake them off. Worth dying for… I could never be. I am not a good man.

I enter the command hall unsure of my own intentions. The biggest room in this underwater base is right at the heart of the inverted pyramid, on the second level. I come down from the third, where the living quarters are situated. The command hall controls everything in the base, with numerous rows of buttons and screens dotted around the triangular space. The three largest windows are also here, one on each of the room’s walls, displaying a grand view of the vast ocean’s emptiness. Perhaps this base’s initial design didn’t intend for it to be stuck in the depths of the sea.

Everyone’s waiting for me, again. I really need to stop being late. “There he is,” Julian says. “Let’s begin.”

“Sorry,” I murmur before taking my seat. We’ve nearly filled the entire room. Cealthor takes the floor. “All together, at last! I can now officially say that our plan was thoroughly successful. Selene and Alexander have been freed!”

Both Julian and Leander clap enthusiastically. The old Commander goes on after the applause dies down. “And, of course, the newest addition to our team, Miraen. Welcome.”

“Thank you,” she says. “Glad to be here.”

“Some of us here don’t know each other, or not well enough. If we are to be an actual team and have each other’s backs, this needs to change,” says Selene. “Caelthor, bring out the wine.”

“Great idea! Oh, I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since we brought that shipment of expensive Martian wine all the way down here. From the finest vineyards in Hellas Planitia, if I recall.”

“Yes, quite so,” confirms Selene. “My favourite.” We all soon have a glass of wine in hand, and everyone takes a sip except Miraen. “What’s the matter?” asks Caelthor. “Is it not to your liking?”

“No, no,” she whispers, a faint smile crossing her lips. “The wine smells fine enough. I just don’t drink.”

“Nonsense,” says Selene. “Please, go ahead. I insist.”

“I cannot. I swore an oath.”

“Oh. I see,” says the princess with disappointment in her face. “How noble of you. Well, seeing as you’re the only one who isn’t joining in, I think it’s fair for you to be the first to tell us your story.”

“Fine. As Leander correctly identified, I’m an Earthling. I grew up in a dirt-poor family in what once was the United European Federation, reduced now to a collection of pitiful, failed states. I was the only child that my parents were able to afford to have. My planet is a lawless mess; I had no choice but to resort to theft in my early teens, especially since my parents had already given up by then. Distraught and full of guilt for having me brought into such a world, they turned to alcohol to cope with their self-pity. The little money we had was wasted, and I had to learn how to survive on my own.”

“It’s illegal to have a full-time job before you turn eighteen—a remnant of old Earth bureaucracy. I had one at fifteen, helping to buy and sell contraband across various borders. I did a myriad of other jobs throughout the years until I eventually left Earth for bigger and better things, but I never truly found my place. Even with all its faults, I’ve always wanted to go back and help my home planet. Anyway, I managed to become a freight inspector at Borealis Crossing Customs Hub, right at the edge of the Belt., which turned out to be an extremely lucrative gig. It’s like I told Alexander the first time we met, I got a bit too much over my own head. I got charged with corruption and embezzlement, so I was sent to Fort Stygian for robbing our precious Empire blind. And now, here I am.”

“Thank you for your honesty, Miraen,” says Julian. “It is not our place to judge. You might not have the cleanest record, but I’m glad we have you on our side.”

“Yes, we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of,” adds Eryx.

I’m starting to get anxious. I’m not ready to do the same. I breathe a momentary sigh of relief when Caelthor asks my two friends to go next.

“My full name is Julian dei Zephyros, and his is Eryx dei Umbros. I’m from Venus, born into one of its many families of farmers. Eryx comes from a noble Uranian family, so we couldn’t be more different if we tried. It was the Navy that brought us together, along with Alex. I’ve personally known him since before then, even. We met at the Imperial Warfare College, became best friends there. Anyhow, we met Eryx early into our military careers, and the three of us became inseparable since. We had our ups and downs, of course, but we pulled through. Blood brothers for life.”

“Splendid! You three are lucky to have each other,” Caelthor says. “Well, I already presented myself before, and, of course, you know Selene. I’d say it’s Leander’s turn, but I already know this well-mannered little man doesn’t share anything about his past.”

Leander steps in. “Only because I try to distance myself from my origins. I can assure you, I have never so much as hurt a fly.”

“I can attest to that,” laughs Selene. “He couldn’t even if he wanted to. That leaves you, Alexander,” she says, nudging me. “How did you end up in Fort Stygian?”

I take a deep breath before explaining my life story to this curious group of listeners. My childhood with my parents, my upbringing with my uncles, my journey through the College, and my military career. I don’t mention my wife, nor my life with her. I don’t want to.

But Selene isn’t letting me off that easily. “Thank you, Alexander. I think you are forgetting something, though. Please, do tell us about my sister.”

I can feel the tension in the room rising with every second I remain silent. I can’t escape it. “Fine. Unbeknownst to me, my wife, Aurora dei Solvator, was Selene’s sister.”

Julian and Eryx had both met my wife before. By the look on their faces, I’m not sure if they even believe me. “Pray, tell us you’re joking,” they say.

“I’m afraid not. But it does not matter. She wanted to escape from her past, I understand that. I do not blame her. Perhaps she thought that I would care, that I would see her differently. That it would change something between us, that it would somehow make me love her less. It wouldn’t have, but I understand.”

I explain how we met and the life we had together. All the way to the end. Everyone expresses their condolences, and yet, Selene is not satisfied. I know that I must go on. “After killing the assassin, I found a bloody note on his body from House Vorthal, my biggest rival during my time in the military. They were the ones who had orchestrated my wife’s murder as an act of revenge for the misfortunes I caused them during the Great Rebellion. It was nothing personal on my end, they were just on the wrong side of the war. But it was for them. After Aurora’s execution, it became so for me too.”

“It was hard back then not to be blinded by rage. I swore I would not rest until my enemies had paid for robbing this world of such a pure soul—not only had they taken hers, but also my own. Being the most powerful Neptunian House, the Vorthals frequently hosted great dinners and events. I managed to sneak into one of these in the planet’s capital, Nereidia, by simply presenting myself by my military title. No one questions an Imperial Vice-Commander, much less searches them. They’d risk offense, which could mean death. It was the celebration of Otharic dei Vorthal’s one hundredth birthday; the whole family was present, as well as members from all the other important Neptunian Houses. I did it alone. I had to, and quickly. Rumours of such a high-ranking official being present at the celebration were spreading like wildfire.”

“When I saw the head of the house, Remus, sitting nonchalantly as if nothing had happened, the rage I’d been dutifully containing in me broke out, my insides screaming in pain as I could only imagine my wife, dead on the cold ground. Equipped with my light Vice-Commander suit under my formal clothes, I took out a small plasma gun once I was close enough to the Vorthal’s table. Remus dei Vorhtal was dead before anyone even had time to process what had just happened.”

I pause, visibly affected by my reliving of the story. Julian tries to comfort me. “We don’t blame you, Alex. That bastard Remus got what he deserved.”

There are tears in my eyes as I look at my best friend, broken inside. “That’s the thing,” I sputter out. “It wasn’t just Remus who was consumed by my rage. It was everyone. I murdered his father, his wife, and his three children, too. In cold blood.”

Poor Julian tries again. “Oh, Alex, I’m sure—”

“All three children, Julian!” I wail, overcome by grief. “I murdered three innocent children in cold blood!”

I cannot stop myself from sobbing while everyone just watches me, too stunned to speak. I compose myself after a few minutes have passed. “The rest of the guests screamed and scrambled in horror, trying to save themselves. But I was done. I could barely hear their shrieks. I could only think of Aurora. She wouldn't have wanted this, she would’ve wanted me to forgive them. I knew that, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t. I could never. I stood there, covered in blood, surrounded by the family I’d just killed, and I wept; not for them, but for my wife, and for the man I knew I’d again become without her.”

“I offered no resistance—I was taken away by the event’s stunned private security, who promptly handed me over to the Imperial Guard. After being transferred to Mars and being kept in a solitary confinement cell for over two months, I was able to have my trial, which resulted in my official imprisonment for life in Fort Stygian. Honestly, I was lucky not to be executed. My high military post must’ve been my saving grace, unless Selene intervened there too.” I say nothing more as I lower my head, ashamed, as the weight of the room’s collective judgement weighs down on me.

“I did not, although I should have,” she clarifies. “Thank you, Alexander. I’m glad you decided to open your heart to us. As Julian said, it is not our place to judge,” she says, casting a stern glance around the room.

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